The best piece of marriage advice that Luke and I got was from a stranger, after our wedding, on our honeymoon.
While Luke and I enjoyed the big pool at our resort in Cancun, a man called over to Luke saying he saw that he had a St. Louis Cardinals t shirt on earlier. The two talked a little about their shared love for baseball before Luke told him that we were on our honeymoon. The man told us that he had been married for 23 years. He went on to tell us the best advice that we have received. He said,
“Everyone’s going to give you advice and tell you things about marriage but your marriage is not going to be just like anyone else’s. You need to figure out what works for you guys and do that.”
Luke and I looked at eachother like huh. Interesting advice. Seems like no advice at all. But later, we realized how true that is. Everyone has been giving us different advice since we got engaged in March. Now don’t get me wrong, it is a very special time to have these types of conversations with people and with our loved ones. A lot of the advice we received we have taken to heart. (Thank you!)
Yet there is something so true about what this man told us. A lot of advice and different tidbits or one liners like “happy wife, happy life” can slowly build up different expectations and views of marriage that might not be realistic.
Luke and I have different personalities, emotions, and ways of thinking that will combine in a unique way. This combination can’t be predicated and given the perfect tidbit of advice to.
So, if you’re engaged or finding yourself the receiver of lot of relationship advice, remember to take it in stride. Advice is great and loving friends are needed by your side, but know that your relationship is unique and is going to take time to figure out what works for you. Realizing this will take some pressure off.